Blog
Overcoming Recurrent Hurts
Thursday, June 22, 2023 by Sarah Schwerin
The words return. They repeat in my head like the chant of a schoolyard bully. Over and over, they hit their mark, burrowing deep inside my heart. They are words phrased as a compliment, but the implied insult rips into me. I am not surprised by the words. The speaker, someone I’m supposed to trust, has a habit of spewing hurtful words. I’ve forgiven him before, but sometimes I let my guard down and he hurts me again. He slings his barbs with no apparent remorse and I seethe at the injustice. It isn’t fair. I rant, complain, and cry. I forgive again, but weeks later, I remember and return to the dark place that his words have created. It is a place where I doubt my worth and question my life’s choices and direction. It seems as if there is no hope of him changing and no way to heal the wound.
Have you been in a similar place? You think you’ve crawled out but the pain from hurts someone else has inflicted remains. Maybe you’ve tried to forgive, and for a time you succeeded. But then a memory played on your mind’s screen and you returned to the darkness. Even though the perpetrator is absent, his handiwork still wounds. Is there any way to break free? Is hope possible?
“For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:15-16, NKJV).
Jesus has felt what we’ve felt. His friends betrayed Him. Others hurled insults at Him. We can share our pains with Him. We can enumerate all the injustices we have suffered. All the hurtful words, actions, and inactions, we can report to Him. Even if we crawl because of the intense pain, we can go to Him. In His presence, we receive what we need.
Return to Him when the hurtful memory haunts you. Reach out your arms and tell Him, I receive all the good things you have to give. His mercy and grace are big enough to handle our hurts and heal our wounds. God has given us what we need to love and forgive, even when the feelings aren’t present.
This morning, I recalled an old wrong. The wound reopened and anger surged in. But then, I whispered to God, Forgive them. I didn’t want to forgive, but I needed to, not for anyone else, but for me. And when I asked God to help me forgive, peace flooded in. At that moment, I didn’t feel the hurt. I didn’t return to the dark place of unforgiveness and pain. I felt hopeful and continued on with my day.
In the next few moments, another remembrance may derail me, but it’s okay. Because I can continually go to God. Instead of hurtful words repeating in my mind, I can fill my mind with God’s truth and love.
“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance that race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has set down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:1-2, NKJV).
Previous Posts
Scraped Knees
Sarah Schwerin
9/10/2024
A Curly Haired Girl
Sarah Schwerin
8/13/2024
For the Birds
Sarah Schwerin
7/9/2024
Too Much Adulting
Sarah Schwerin
6/11/2024
Ziplining The Canyon
Sarah Schwerin
5/14/2024
Book Review: Healing the Wounded Heart
Sarah Schwerin
4/9/2024
Unable to Relax?
Sarah Schwerin
3/12/2024
Who Am I?
Sarah Schwerin
2/13/2024
How's Your Heart
Sarah Schwerin
1/9/2024
The Frozen Ground of Christmas
Sarah Schwerin
12/19/2023
Book Review: Forgiving What You Can't Forget by Lysa TerKeurst
Sarah Schwerin
7/27/2023
What's Your Favorite Book?
Sarah Schwerin
7/13/2023
Overcoming Recurrent Hurts
Sarah Schwerin
6/22/2023
Book Review: #My Family Too! By Marlene Bagnull
Sarah Schwerin
5/25/2023
Second Breakfast
Sarah Schwerin
5/11/2023
Book Review: Hush by Nicole Braddock Bramley
Sarah Schwerin
4/27/2023
Unexpected and Unwanted
Sarah Schwerrin
4/13/2023
Books Review: We Too By Mary DeMuth
Sarah Schwerin
3/24/2023
An Envelope of Kindness
Sarah Schwerin
3/9/2023
Book Review: Healing For Damaged Emotions by David A. Seamands
Sarah Schwerin
2/23/2023
Misdirected Prayers
Sarah Schwerin
2/9/2023
Book Review: The Courage to Heal By: Ellen Bass and Laura Davis
Sarah Schwerin
1/26/2023
My Refuge: Where I Flee When Life is Hard
Sarah Schwerin
1/12/2023
Book Review - True North By: Dave Smith
Sarah Schwerin
12/29/2022
Oatmeal For Dinner
Sarah Schwerin
12/15/2022
Book Review of Rescuing Rose
Sarah Schwerin
11/28/2022
When Houses Fall
Sarah Schwerin
11/16/2022
An Invitation
Sarah Schwerin
9/21/2022
Planner Addict: What Happens When Plans Fail
Sarah Schwerin
9/16/2022
Fast Drivers and Two Brothers: When Life Isn't Fair
Sarah Schwerin
8/16/2022
Talking Birds
Sarah Schwerin
7/15/2022
Looking for a Leader: Reflections from the Gettysburg Battlefield
Sarah Schwerin
6/24/2022
Nap Hater: My Quest to Find Rest
Sarah Schwerin
5/3/2022
Dreams of Kenya
Sarah Schwerin
4/26/2022
Snow Days and Hearts that Lead Us Astray
Sarah Schwerin
4/13/2022
Can I Hide From God?
Sarah Schwerin
3/29/2022
Stitches and Waiting on God
Sarah Schwerin
3/25/2022
God’s Voice Or The Enemy’s?
By Sarah
3/3/2022
The Battles We Fight
By Sarah
3/3/2022
Drowning In Fear
By Sarah
3/2/2022
A Boring Bible Story, A Temple, And My Mom: A Devotion On Heaven
By Sarah
3/1/2022
Marriage Advice
By Sarah
2/28/2022
Does Idolatry Exist In Today’s World
By Sarah
2/27/2022
Underwear Blues
By Sarah
2/27/2022
A Voice In Chengdu
By Sarah
2/26/2022
Word Of The Year
By Sarah
2/25/2022
A New Year Challenge
By Sarah
2/24/2022
A Christmas Of Firsts And Lasts
By Sarah
2/23/2022
Christmas And The Suffering Servant: Hope For Abuse Survivors
By Sarah
2/22/2022
The Day I Stopped Watching Horror Movies
By Sarah - Life Lessons
2/21/2022
Waiting Arms
By Sarah
2/20/2022
I Messed Up, Again
By Sarah
2/19/2022
My Tribe: Autism Moms Are The Best
By Sarah
2/18/2022
When Words Wound
By Sarah
2/16/2022
Craving Acceptance
By Sarah
2/15/2022
When Innocent People Suffer
By Sarah
2/14/2022
Rubbish
By Sarah
2/12/2022
The Voices In My Head
By Sarah
2/11/2022
Buffets
By Sarah
2/10/2022
The Process Not The Product
By Sarah
2/9/2022
Hidden Snacks, Ice Cream, And Fairness
By Sarah
2/8/2022
Rootless
By Sarah
2/7/2022
You Never See The Potato Masher Coming
By Sarah
2/5/2022
Forgiveness
By Sarah
2/4/2022
The Unnamed Victim
By Sarah
2/1/2022
Engraved
By Sarah
1/31/2022
Left Handed Hero
By Sarah
1/30/2022
Quarantine Time
By Sarah
1/26/2022