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avoiding…

For months, I avoided the book. Written by one of my favorite authors, Jodi Picoult, Perfect Match tells the story of a female prosecutor who learns that someone has sexually abused her son. I have spent over a year writing a novel that deals with this same subject and I’ve become more vocal about my healing from abuse, even so, I ignored the book.

Then, I started reading. As a result, the last couple of nights I’ve awakened from nightmares, nightmares I thought had disappeared. I considered not finishing the novel, but today’s devotion gave me something else to consider.

the suffering servant…

Growing up in the church, the term Suffering Servant has grown cliché for me. Most of the time, I read the words with no thoughts or feelings except to prepare my mental to-do list. But not this time.

suffering…

The word brings images to my mind, the child from the book and his suffering, my suffering, and all the children who suffer in silence. Many do not have words to explain what has happened. Many are too scared. All are disfigured and marred by undeserved abuse.

a mess…

At Christmas, we see a clean baby surrounded by his adoring public. For many of us with painful pasts, this picture can be too much, too perfect, too sterile. Our childhoods never looked like that. But I don’t think the commercialized picture or the church picture is the entire story or even an accurate one. Jesus’ story is messy, like many of ours.

no hope…

God sent a perfect, innocent baby to Earth. But the whole reason He sent his son was so that Jesus could die. And it was not a pleasant death. It was brutal, traumatizing, sickening. Sounds to me like God was the villain, not the good, faithful father. Don’t parents protect? Don’t they do anything they can to keep their children safe? But God didn’t. The same God who destroyed his enemies watched his son die and did nothing.

Jesus was “marred and disfigured.” (Isaiah 52:14, NIV).

“I offered my back to those who beat me, my cheeks to those who pulled out my beard; I did not hide my face from mocking and spitting.” Isaiah 50:6, NIV.

He suffered in silence. Why?

the hope…

For every survivor of abuse who suffered in silence, for anyone who has watched a loved one struggle with abuse, you are the reason he suffered and never cried out. He knew that many of us would keep our pain hidden for years.

I remember being a child and hearing that Jesus died for our sins. But I didn’t know until I was much older that Jesus suffered and died, so He could say to me, I know. I know how you feel. I’ve never left you and I never will. There is a way to escape the pain.

“‘No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and this is their vindication from me,’ declares the Lord.” Isaiah 54:17, NIV.

I’ve only read a few chapters of Perfect Match, but I’ve read all of Jesus’s story in the Bible. If you look closely, it isn’t a sappy Hallmark movie or a cute nativity. His story is messy and real, just like ours.

When Jesus died, God was silent, but He said a lot before, after, and he’s still speaking. Death and suffering didn’t have the final word in Jesus’ story. And they don’t have to have the last word in ours either. Healing is possible.